I Was Hacked

It all began innocently enough yesterday: My email wasn’t connecting to my server. I ignored the error, figuring the anomaly would work itself out.

A couple of hours later, it still wasn’t working. A couple of hours more: still not working. Finally, I went on the server: my domain wasn’t listed there anymore.


I call my host, Register.com, looking for insight into what in the world happened to my domain. She said it had been cancelled earlier that day, and then asked if I remembered calling and cancelling it.

Ummm, what?!? Of COURSE I didn’t call and cancel it!

Then it sinks in: I must have been hacked or something. Oh…dear…God.

Shock: I am flooded by a wave of emotion as the reality begins to set in. I open my web browser, type in my site name, only to see a generic template with a link to buy the domain. I can’t believe my eyes.

Victimized: Who did this to me?

Devastated: All my most sharable writing in the last five years…gone…

Violated: Who DID this to me?

Idiot: For not backing up my site

Lazy: For having only one password for all my logins

Shattered: My writing…gone…

Naïve: For not changing my passwords the other day in response to “Heartbleed”

Desperate: Does my host still have a copy of my site?

And then I notice a smile arising from the steady calm at the depth of the experience. I saw a clean slate. A chance to start fresh. A hidden doorway within the wall in front of me. I slip excitedly through it, anxious to discover what is on the other side.

First thing I did: change all my passwords, starting with my bank accounts. Next: marvel at the new fallen snow before going to sleep. This morning: reactivate McAfee. And then: back up my computer.

I can’t change “what is”, and the need to do so would interfere with my ability to see and take the next step. I still have no answers. My domain still resides on someone else’s server. Register.com was baffled, and escalated it for resolution.

But somehow I know that only good things will come from this experience. A similar sentiment carried me easily through the surgery I had Monday to remove a spot of skin cancer on my left temple. It’s not about “making lemonade”, it’s more about marveling at how all the pieces fit together so seamlessly, and trusting that this is yet another momentary disruption as the next piece clicks into place.

This moment is all we can affect. Do what is in front of you to do. Take this one step with integrity. String enough of these quality moments together, and the picture of your life will reveal a wondrous story beyond anything you could have ever written for yourself.

So I am taking this opportunity to officially transition to my new site. It’s not fully developed yet, but it has a simple charm. :) The site name is “caremycue.com”, drawing on the name that my friends and coworkers anointed me with a few years back. These days I identify more as Care than I do Carolyn, and it fits so well with my life’s work, so I figured I would make it “official” and bought the domain two weeks ago.

So that’s all the news I have for the moment. Oh, my surgery went well, and I expect a full recovery. Hoping my friends and coworkers won’t now anoint me with a new nickname of “scarface”. (haha!)

Have an inspired day!

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