When we posses something (even if that “thing” is an experience), it makes it difficult for us to celebrate it or appreciate it for very long because our thoughts of it are soon replaced with desires for something new. We see those things as extensions of who we are, and we believe that somehow having those things makes us more special. The desire for things comes out of a place of lack: before we “had” it, we felt “less than”, and so we believed we needed that thing to fill the void.
In the process of desiring something, we think about it, long for it, dream about it, talk about it, and imagine the fulfillment we will experience upon acquiring it. When we do finally get it, initially there is a sense of relief and a feeling of “specialness”, but eventually that experience fades away.
The structure of desire, however, does not fade away: it remains intact, and so eventually we find something new to focus our desires on. It is important to recognize that the feeling of relief does not come from the thing or experience acquired, it comes from the momentary reprieve of desiring.
The ultimate purpose for all desire is to bring us beyond the need to desire anything. If we can open to this truth, it will lead us to the end of one journey, a journey of fear, and the beginning of another journey, a journey of absolute fulfillment beyond all fear.
Who are we if we are not desiring something? Even if our desires are altruistic, they are still desires. Is it even possible not to desire? I say it is, and when we abide in that experience, we discover possession is just an illusion. We realize we are all things, including the “no-thing” out of which this experience arises. Possession becomes an obsolete notion and is replaced with a simple celebration of this experience of life.
This experience shifts the lens through which we view ourselves and the world we live in. No longer do we seek experiences for what we can get or what we can give, but instead we simply merge with it. We allow life in that moment to shape us and use us to satisfy its desire to better know itself. In each of these innocent interactions, we experience a resounding and unparalleled fulfillment and deepest joy. We no longer seek to find ourselves in the things of this life, and instead we become life seeking to experience itself in things.
Once we recognize the structure of desire, then we are able to hold desires in awareness and recognize how it limits our experience of joy. Those desires then fall away on their own because the ultimate purpose of desire has been fulfilled. The structure of desire becomes dismantled, and our interactions in life are no longer coming from a place of lack, but instead arise from a place of ultimate fulfillment.