Why is it that we don’t seek to fix the things that are positive in our lives? In many ways, those things are actually more limiting than the negative things. They blind us to authentic self, our eternal nature, every bit as much as negativity does, but because they are experienced as pleasurable, we do not try to escape them.
Instead we spend so much time pursuing them with focused intensity. With our goal clearly in mind, we set about trying to figure out how to achieve it. In the process, sometimes we have to shed other goals, or at least set them aside for a while, so that we can make all our resources available for this one desire that we believe holds the ultimate experience of fulfillment.
But each time we get there, there is always something else we will feel a desire for. It takes a long time to collect enough experiences of getting what we want for us realize that having what we want will only bring us fleeting satisfaction. Or maybe we may never even get there at all.
Our minds are conditioned to seek satisfaction in the world of things. That is why even when we get what we want, we continue to seek more: because that is what our minds are trained to do. It is but one of the many paths built into the human condition designed to lead us beyond identification with the human condition to an experience of conscious awareness as consciousness ourself. This is our true destiny.
Whatever it is that you are wanting right now, bring your awareness to that feeling of lack, that feeling of looking outward for something you don’t have. The next time you get what you want, become aware of the feeling of satisfaction, then check back at a later time and see if that same level of satisfaction is still there. And then after, when you find you are wanting something else, become aware of that feeling too.
Look around your dwelling and become aware of each individual item, including perhaps the dwelling itself. Hold it for a moment, mentally or physically, and try to embody that feeling of wanting that led up to you having that particular item. Maybe certain items belongs to a spouse or partner, but your wanting of that spouse or partner is what led to your having that item, so embody that feeling of wanting that led up to you having them.
Often times, those items can begin to feel more like burdens, because there’s too many of them or there’s no room for the things that you want now or they weren’t what you expected or they just don’t “fit” anymore with your new goals or desires. Where is the satisfaction that you believed those items would provide for you? The energy that you experienced as satisfaction is the same energy that is being tied up in wanting something else. That is why you can’t feel it as deeply (or at all) anymore.
Awareness is the key to liberation, whether it be awareness of wanting pleasure or awareness of avoiding fear. They are two sides of the same coin, and regardless of how many “wants” you get, there will always be emptiness, and regardless of how much fear you avoid, there will always be more to be afraid of. One serves as contrast to the other in order to lead you to pursue an experience beyond both.
When we become aware of that feeling of wanting, that awareness is consciousness disidentifying from form. When we come to know ourselves as that, all extraneous wanting falls away, leaving us with a deep experience of being. Then, as we set about our day, we bring that experience of being to each thing we do.
That is where we experience true joy: not in having what we want but in being the awareness of the flow of energy within this play of form. In opening to that experience, our purpose is revealed beyond any want or desire of our own. In honoring that purpose, we experience the deep fulfillment and perfection contained within every action and every breath.